phosphenes
by Souffles In Space
Summary: Nevy likes to watch Gil when he prays. / Drabble; Gil Marverde/Nevy Nervine.


**Disclaimer:** _Ava's Demon_ © Michelle Czajkowski - Full disclaimer on my profile.

**Summary:** Nevy likes to watch Gil when he prays. / Drabble; Gil Marverde/Nevy Nervine.

**A/N:** If you haven't read the webcomic "_Ava's Demon_", you should. It's beautifully drawn and very original and each chapter ends with a wonderfully animated segment put to gorgeous music.

Also, Nevy/Gil is my new OTP for that comic and I'm sad that it doesn't have a ship name, so here's a drabble about them. There are some small spoilers in this, but nothing that you don't learn very soon after Nevy and Gil's introduction. Un-beta'd.

Music-wise, think "_Love Love Love_" by Of Monsters And Men.

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**phosphenes**  
**~AD~**

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Nevy likes to watch Gil when he prays. She supposes that she doesn't have much of a choice - she is bound to Gil, for better or worse - but she also supposes that if she has to remain in this limbo, she may as well enjoy the benefits.

Gil kneels at the heels of the statue of the great and omniscient TITAN (_never_ at his feet - when Nevy asked, Gil had explained that he was TITAN's loyal follower, not his enemy; praying behind him is his own little way of reminding himself of this), his head bowed. He takes deep, relaxing breaths. Occasionally he mutters his prayers under his breath and brushes his knuckles against his lips.

She never sees him more content than when he's praying, except when he's caring for patients.

Really, Nevy counts herself lucky. If she had to be stuck with anyone in the known or unknown universe - anyone at all - she is glad to be with someone as gentle and selfless as Gil...

...most of the time.

Oh, it is a vile thought! Ungrateful and nasty. Nevy knows she has no right to think like this - she tries to lock these thoughts away, she swears she does, in a tight box in the darkest corner of her mind - but there they only fester and gather strength until they can creep up behind and attack her at the most inopportune times.

A sigh passes Nevy's lips; her chartreuse eyes soften, watching Gil's mouth move as he whispers his prayer. She sits cross-legged beside him. A lock of pristine white hair falls into his face.

Of all the creatures in the universe, how did Nevy manage to find one so beautiful...?

Her hand moves of its own accord, her mind too preoccupied with counting the light dusting of freckles on his azure-skinned cheeks; it finds the lock of hair and brushes it behind his ear. He is the one thing anchoring her to this reality, the one person she can touch, but somehow she doesn't think that that entirely accounts for the electric feeling of his skin against hers. Gil doesn't halt his prayers but his mouth turns up into a small, fond smile.

It's that smile that does it.

All of a sudden (and not for the first time) Nevy feels something in her chest _crrr-**ack**_ and she jerks away from him abruptly to smother a small cry with her hands because the pain is so _acute_ that it's almost a physical hurt.

_What am I doing?_

Evidently, Gil senses that something is wrong - he is sensitive that way and Nevy _hates_ it because it only makes him lovelier. He cracks his eyes open and looks at Nevy with such an honest expression of worry that she wants to weep. "Nevy? Are you alright?"

He's like a star - so radiant and impossibly out of reach that Nevy has to look away. Gil moves to touch her arm and she flinches. "I...I'm your friend. You can tell me if something is wrong. Did I do something...?"

She hates him. She hates that she hates him. She hates that she knows that the only reason she feels this way is that she will never be able to have him.

He is her best friend. He was the first thing she knew and the only thing she has and it _kills_ her - a sharp, burning pain, like a knife between the ribs - that she can't love him the way she wants to; the way he deserves. She's a ghost and he's a bright young medic with an entire life stretched before him, and all she can do is slow him him down.

Stuffing her hand into her mouth, she darts behind the cover of the tall tree. Gil blinks after her, pushing himself to his feet.

"Nevy?" Gil calls, voice cracking with concern. "Are you hurt? Please talk to me!"

She doesn't answer. After a moment she hears him settle at the foot of the tree. Waiting patiently. He is so, so patient...

Maybe...maybe TITAN will have the answers. Maybe TITAN will be able to tell Nevy not only who she was, but how to end this terrible affliction - _if_ he is as all-knowing as Gil says.

For the first time in her memory, Nevy closes her eyes, presses her knuckles to her lips and prays.

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**~AD~**


End file.
